If you ask yourself whether this could be depression, go and see immediately a doctor. There is nothing wrong with having it, there is no fault on your side, it something that just gets unbalanced in the brain's biochemistry: diagnosing it will lead to proper medication and improvements. Ignoring it can be very dangerous. I repeat, there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is an illness that can hit anybody at any moment in time. I suffer from depression and handling it has helped me incredibly. You treat it, and you win,
If it is not depression, then you also win, because you have ruled out one hypothesis.
"by the books" seems like a recurring pattern for you. It feels for me like it is about time for you to acctually make your own decissions and also fail while doing so.
Social Pressure can be a bitch and a half. Its not like you are pushed to do something directly by others. It is just there.
And get help. Try to find a therapist who really(!) understands you. I think you will always "know the right answer" to say to make the therapist happy. Find someone who can actually look through it.
It sounds like you are depressed, and should figure out whether it's due to maladaptive biochemistry (see a professional) or circumstances (change the circumstances; maybe consider a therapist). Given your post, I'm leaning towards the latter.
You say you have plenty of friends, but I can't help but wonder if they're able to give you the nourishment you need. It's great you have many who care about you -- but no matter how much you go drinking or hiking together, if they can't relate to your troubles, then it can still feel quite lonely.
For me personally, art -- both creating and consuming others' -- has been uniquely helpful. You can pass your feelings to a future self, and there are surely many brilliant people from the past whose work can make you feel understood too. Yes, "this" really is all there is, but it's more manageable if you find someone who sees "this" the same way you do.
What's compelling about "starting from zero"? Maybe that's a feeling you could focus in on and, from that, figure out a goal that compels you.
If there ever was a place on HN for someone to say “try christianity” with a small and easy to scroll past comment, it would be in the thread where the OP says “I feel empty. Does anyone have advice?” Sure, christianity might not be the answer, but what we want in this situation is for as many people as possible to give their ideas, and then maybe one will appeal to the OP. I’ve bumped into a lot of christians, and a lot of them seem happy. If it works for some people, and helps them feel less empty inside, maybe it will work for other people too.
If someone said “buying a big plot of land and mowing the lawn every week has filled the empty place in my soul, you could try that” and I had a very different experience with lawn mowers, then I would relate my experience and add to the conversation. I would explain the fact that lawn mowers are extremely dangerous and I have lost multiple toes to them perhaps. But I wouldn’t say “Did you mention lawn mowing on HN? Get out of here with that.”
If you ask yourself whether this could be depression, go and see immediately a doctor. There is nothing wrong with having it, there is no fault on your side, it something that just gets unbalanced in the brain's biochemistry: diagnosing it will lead to proper medication and improvements. Ignoring it can be very dangerous. I repeat, there is nothing to be ashamed of, it is an illness that can hit anybody at any moment in time. I suffer from depression and handling it has helped me incredibly. You treat it, and you win,
If it is not depression, then you also win, because you have ruled out one hypothesis.
"by the books" seems like a recurring pattern for you. It feels for me like it is about time for you to acctually make your own decissions and also fail while doing so.
Social Pressure can be a bitch and a half. Its not like you are pushed to do something directly by others. It is just there.
And get help. Try to find a therapist who really(!) understands you. I think you will always "know the right answer" to say to make the therapist happy. Find someone who can actually look through it.
It sounds like you are depressed, and should figure out whether it's due to maladaptive biochemistry (see a professional) or circumstances (change the circumstances; maybe consider a therapist). Given your post, I'm leaning towards the latter.
You say you have plenty of friends, but I can't help but wonder if they're able to give you the nourishment you need. It's great you have many who care about you -- but no matter how much you go drinking or hiking together, if they can't relate to your troubles, then it can still feel quite lonely.
For me personally, art -- both creating and consuming others' -- has been uniquely helpful. You can pass your feelings to a future self, and there are surely many brilliant people from the past whose work can make you feel understood too. Yes, "this" really is all there is, but it's more manageable if you find someone who sees "this" the same way you do.
What's compelling about "starting from zero"? Maybe that's a feeling you could focus in on and, from that, figure out a goal that compels you.
Good luck. Hope you find happiness :)
It sounds to me like you have everything but the truth.
"What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?" Matthew 16:26
Are you proselytizing on HN? Get out of here with that.
If there ever was a place on HN for someone to say “try christianity” with a small and easy to scroll past comment, it would be in the thread where the OP says “I feel empty. Does anyone have advice?” Sure, christianity might not be the answer, but what we want in this situation is for as many people as possible to give their ideas, and then maybe one will appeal to the OP. I’ve bumped into a lot of christians, and a lot of them seem happy. If it works for some people, and helps them feel less empty inside, maybe it will work for other people too.
If someone said “buying a big plot of land and mowing the lawn every week has filled the empty place in my soul, you could try that” and I had a very different experience with lawn mowers, then I would relate my experience and add to the conversation. I would explain the fact that lawn mowers are extremely dangerous and I have lost multiple toes to them perhaps. But I wouldn’t say “Did you mention lawn mowing on HN? Get out of here with that.”
Have you considered raising children?
Please do not listen to the people who espouse the brain chemical imbalance bullshit
I am a retired psychotherapist and have been aware that this is a line sold to us by big pharma since the late 1980's. It was all lies.
there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in the brain. this has been disproved by loads of recent research,
It may not be depression, it may just be that you are at a crossroads in life and are looking for a new direction.
The existential emptiness could be a sense of loss and you are looking to find out who you are.
go see a therapist. have a chat, see what unfolds.
> this has been disproved by loads of recent research
oh good, feel free to share it then
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