For anyone reading this story as a cautionary tale on having children, you should know that this is not my lived experience of parenting (or the described experience of many of my peers). The way he describes it is the exact opposite of my experience:
> "if you feed me a BIG tablespoon of shit every day and then switch to just a little teaspoon daily, I won’t suddenly start liking the taste of shit."
I genuinely love time spent with my child. I had a similar experience to him and Felix in my 20s and am glad I did, but I'd never want to go back there. That was right for me then and I deeply feel that parenting (alongside a software engineering career I love) is the most joyful, rewarding place to be in my 30s.
I think people fall into the trap of thinking things are too good to be true (so they must not be true). This results in abandoned relationships that would have been better than 99% of those from pre-online-dating times.
This has been true for me, anyway. Every time I've entered the online dating scene, I've invariably realized 3 months later that one or two of the women I turned down for second dates were great matches.
I don't understand what you mean by "too good to be true" here. You mistakenly think the women you have good first dates with are fraudulent in some way?
It's that I'm not naturally inclined to accept things/matches that appear ideal on the surface. Though in this case they aren't scams at all.
I don't know how to articulate it, that's just my best shot. I'm baffled by my poor decision-making and assume the author is guilty of the same faulty reasoning.
These are another "Jacob" and another "Felix", not the ones in the post, but there are so many similarities and such a terrible lesson learned that it needs to be written.
The Felix I know is still happy; still going out in the long summer days or camping during the winters, playing minecraft sometimes, discovering that life has yet so much to give. Felix has so many ideas in his head that any given day it's a miracle he finds the strength of spirit to prioritize and keep the focus. People at work like Felix because he only compromises on the right things and never throws anybody under a bus so that he can run because they called from the school.
Felix dances in the mornings, and takes catnaps, and tries to keep away the sadness. Sadness not of his life, but because his Jacob died a month ago the most terrible dead possible, that Jacob caught after his immune system was reduced to shreds by regular sleeplessness caused by his kid's iterative flus, family stress, excess alcohol (caused by immediate and extended family stress), and the never ending procession of viruses the kid kept bringing home. For all that saying that family is so that you don't die alone, Jacob never wanted his family for that he could die surrounded by them, and Felix is pretty sure Jacob would have preferred to die alone rather than suffer so much and give so much suffering to those he loved.
Felix thinks often of the urn of ashes that is all that is left of Jacob, and about how the family Jacob loved has been left with no choice but to forget and to keep going, one feet in front of another, after the husband that did everything was eaten alive by a metastasis. Felix knows in his bones that he will find the time to compose and sing a song for Jacob. It'll probably be called "Sex toys are underrated."
Also, the "D" in this parallel story grew up to become an angel investor and a good friend of Felix. This D and his wife live happily with their cat, and travel the world.
Absolute fucking juice, mate. Pure gold. Really nailed that feeling of early 2000s/early 2010s web entrepreneurship of the failed young entrepreneur hahaha.
For anyone reading this story as a cautionary tale on having children, you should know that this is not my lived experience of parenting (or the described experience of many of my peers). The way he describes it is the exact opposite of my experience:
> "if you feed me a BIG tablespoon of shit every day and then switch to just a little teaspoon daily, I won’t suddenly start liking the taste of shit."
I genuinely love time spent with my child. I had a similar experience to him and Felix in my 20s and am glad I did, but I'd never want to go back there. That was right for me then and I deeply feel that parenting (alongside a software engineering career I love) is the most joyful, rewarding place to be in my 30s.
>failing at online dating
I think people fall into the trap of thinking things are too good to be true (so they must not be true). This results in abandoned relationships that would have been better than 99% of those from pre-online-dating times.
This has been true for me, anyway. Every time I've entered the online dating scene, I've invariably realized 3 months later that one or two of the women I turned down for second dates were great matches.
I don't understand what you mean by "too good to be true" here. You mistakenly think the women you have good first dates with are fraudulent in some way?
It's that I'm not naturally inclined to accept things/matches that appear ideal on the surface. Though in this case they aren't scams at all.
I don't know how to articulate it, that's just my best shot. I'm baffled by my poor decision-making and assume the author is guilty of the same faulty reasoning.
These are another "Jacob" and another "Felix", not the ones in the post, but there are so many similarities and such a terrible lesson learned that it needs to be written.
The Felix I know is still happy; still going out in the long summer days or camping during the winters, playing minecraft sometimes, discovering that life has yet so much to give. Felix has so many ideas in his head that any given day it's a miracle he finds the strength of spirit to prioritize and keep the focus. People at work like Felix because he only compromises on the right things and never throws anybody under a bus so that he can run because they called from the school.
Felix dances in the mornings, and takes catnaps, and tries to keep away the sadness. Sadness not of his life, but because his Jacob died a month ago the most terrible dead possible, that Jacob caught after his immune system was reduced to shreds by regular sleeplessness caused by his kid's iterative flus, family stress, excess alcohol (caused by immediate and extended family stress), and the never ending procession of viruses the kid kept bringing home. For all that saying that family is so that you don't die alone, Jacob never wanted his family for that he could die surrounded by them, and Felix is pretty sure Jacob would have preferred to die alone rather than suffer so much and give so much suffering to those he loved.
Felix thinks often of the urn of ashes that is all that is left of Jacob, and about how the family Jacob loved has been left with no choice but to forget and to keep going, one feet in front of another, after the husband that did everything was eaten alive by a metastasis. Felix knows in his bones that he will find the time to compose and sing a song for Jacob. It'll probably be called "Sex toys are underrated."
Also, the "D" in this parallel story grew up to become an angel investor and a good friend of Felix. This D and his wife live happily with their cat, and travel the world.
Absolute fucking juice, mate. Pure gold. Really nailed that feeling of early 2000s/early 2010s web entrepreneurship of the failed young entrepreneur hahaha.
Gold standard nostalgia.
who?
The best loser story period! I'm sure you will commit suicide someday.